18 Comments
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Kellie O'Connor's avatar

“These aren’t just obstacles to get past on the way to what matters. They are the making of us.” 💕💕💕

Bernadette Jiwa's avatar

Have you ever looked back with hindsight and discovered how a particular challenge shaped you, Kellie?

Kellie O'Connor's avatar

Yes challenging situations are often the stories I write about 💕

Michael Averill's avatar

I remember the crack game as well. Lava was a popular imaginary pitfall linked to the cracks.

Your words highlight for me how much good conversation and wisdom is rooted in dancing with problems. They seem to be the spice of existence, don't they?

Bernadette Jiwa's avatar

When you think about it, quite a few of your stories have their roots in here, Michael. :)

Michael Averill's avatar

Yup! I'd say most to all of them! Haha.

Gary Drouillard's avatar

This is the best pick-me-up of my week, Bernadette. Thank you. It is a positive reframing of what problems are good for.

I’m having trouble locating which of the Stoics to attribute this thought to, but it goes something like, “There is no man more pitiable than one who has never undergone adversity, because he will die never knowing what his true character is or what he was capable of.”

Similarly, I came across this one from Seneca the Younger:

“A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials.”

In my own experience, it is only within the crucible of testing that I find out what I truly believe in and which of my professed values I will suffer for.

Bernadette Jiwa's avatar

Ah, I'm glad this resonated with you, Gary. I needed to hear it this week too.

Thank you for the reminder that this in ancient wisdom that we can lean on in testing times.

This feels important to bookmark.

'... it is only within the crucible of testing that I find out what I truly believe in and which of my professed values I will suffer for.'

James Easton's avatar

You might enjoy a little book titled Obliquity: Why Our Goals Are Best Achieved Indirectly, by Scottish economist John Kay.

Bernadette Jiwa's avatar

Oh, that sounds interesting, James. Thanks for the tip.

How has the book helped you?

Mandell Conway's avatar

I avoided cracks in the pavement as a child as well. Isn't it interesting that even then we saw cracks as problems- until we grow wiser and learn of Kintsugi.

This also serves as a great reminder that the obstacle is the way.

Bernadette Jiwa's avatar

I know you've lived this, my friend. How do you think faith does and doesn't play a part in the ability to do that.

Mandell Conway's avatar

I think I have an idea of how faith plays a part in the ability to do that, and I’m curious what you mean by a way faith doesn’t play a part?

To answer how it does, I would say faith says “I believe that even in the cracks there is beauty.”

Reminds me of lyric “there is a crack in everything that’s how the light gets in”.

Which leads me to say, avoid your cracks, avoid your light.

Bernadette Jiwa's avatar

Beautiful, Mandell.

'Which leads me to say, avoid your cracks, avoid your light.'

And what I meant was, I can see how people who have lost faith, whether it be in themselves, justice, God or love could find it hard to see that light.

Ciaran O'Donnell's avatar

I still love a flag stone pavement ... perfect opportunity to avoid the lines (Aged 50)

"They are the making of us." Yes indeed!

Bernadette Jiwa's avatar

'Avoiding the pitfalls since 1975.' :)

Ciaran O'Donnell's avatar

Haha. Climbing outta pitfalls since 1975

Bernadette Jiwa's avatar

T-shirt worthy. :)