Measuring Up

What's on your inner scorecard?

We regularly measure our status, progress and success against others. It's no wonder. We've been subjected to comparison since our parents bragged about when we got our first tooth. At school, the race to see who could collect the most gold stars was on from day one.

We are acutely aware of what makes us remarkable in the eyes of others. We have learned to live and work by what Warren Buffett calls an outer scorecard, often at the expense of doing what's right and what's right for us.

But what does this constant measuring up cost us?

We become strangers to ourselves, chasing promotions that feel hollow, relationships that drain us, and achievements that look impressive in our LinkedIn bios but leave us feeling empty. We learn to speak in the language others want to hear, forgetting our own voice in the process. We perfect the art of being busy while losing touch with what brings us joy.

The outer scorecard suggests that our worth can be measured in likes, salaries, and status symbols. Being chosen by others is more important than choosing ourselves, and fitting in is safer than standing for something we genuinely believe in.

We build lives that look good on camera but don't feel like our own. We chase the next milestone, thinking this will be the one that finally proves our value - to our parents, our peers, and our inner critic, which sounds suspiciously like everyone else's expectations.

The tragedy isn't just that we lose ourselves; it's that we lose the very thing that could make us genuinely remarkable: our authentic contribution to the world.

If what's on our inner scorecard grounds us, we must get into the habit of prioritising those things. But most of us don't even know what's on it anymore.

Understanding your inner scorecard is a daily practice. It's asking yourself: What made me feel alive today? Not successful. Alive. It's noticing which conversations left you energised and which ones drained you.

Prioritising what matters to you means making choices people won't understand. Saying no to a seemingly 'perfect opportunity' because it doesn't fit who you're becoming. Celebrating quiet moments of integrity. Protecting time for work you're called to do.

Your inner scorecard is the compass that points toward the person you're meant to become, not the person others expect you to be.

What's on your inner scorecard?

Image credit: David Gavi